Close to Fire: Roman’s Anthology Release Part I grew out of a songwriter’s grief after losing his first grandson, Roman. The project connected his musical work with conversations about family, money and legacy.
The musician, who identifies himself as Tony, has also worked with families as a financial advisor and estate planner for nearly three decades. He describes songwriting and planning as ways to approach difficult personal questions.
The loss behind the album
Roman was born on September 13, 2021. Restrictions related to COVID-19 (coronavirus disease 2019) prevented Tony from entering the hospital, leaving him waiting in parking lots and coffee shops.
His daughter later called, and he heard Roman over the phone. Roman’s parents had bathed, held, fed and changed him.
That evening, Tony visited a nearby coffee shop hosting an open mic. After learning that his first grandson had been born, the owner invited him to perform. Tony played three original songs:
- “Find Your Way Home”
- “Love Your Life Away”
- “Make It Rain”
Audience members sang along despite not knowing the songs. Between performances, they chanted “ROCK n RO…MAN.”
The following morning, a text summoned him to the hospital: “We need you at the hospital right away.” He describes becoming immobilised despite his personal and professional experience with trauma and loss.
At the hospital, the doctors and priest had left. His daughter held Roman while her husband held her. Tony recalls sensing something he associated with the beginnings of a song, although he remains uncertain about that feeling.
He says he can revisit the memory only briefly and does not know whether he will ever write a song directly about that moment.
Songwriting and perspective
Tony had experienced trauma long before Roman’s death. At three, he survived a house fire that hospitalised him and his brothers. Further fires, accidents and losses followed.
His advisory work also brought him into families’ lives during periods of celebration and crisis. He had believed those experiences gave him an understanding of how suddenly circumstances could change.
He describes music as a means of expressing celebration, anger and feelings that are difficult to articulate. He also credits songs with helping him reconsider experiences, recover from loss and develop his advisory practice.
Among the songs he cites are Stephen Wilson Jr.’s “I’m A Song,” Dawes’ “A Little Bit of Everything” and Jimi Hendrix’s “The Wind Cries Mary.”
That approach informed Close to Fire, which he created in the years after Roman’s death. Musicians, engineers, therapists, advisors and others contributed their experiences of love and loss to the project.
Money, memory and artists’ estates
Tony connects songwriting with the process of discussing money, death and legacy. In both settings, he begins by allowing ideas and feelings to emerge before organising, revising or examining them from another perspective.
He previously treated his advisory practice and music as separate identities. Over time, he began connecting the two, describing legacy through stories, recipes, jokes, songs and values as well as financial assets.
He contrasts the career information available to musicians, covering releases, royalties, publishing, touring, promotion, contracts and audiences, with personal questions about fear, family, mortality, responsibility and love.
In his account, artists may be reluctant to discuss what will happen to their work after death, despite spending their careers creating expressions of memory and connection.
Prince died without a will. The estates and intellectual property of Martin Luther King Jr., Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain have also been involved in complex family or legal disputes.
Tony does not suggest that every songwriter must become an estate-planning specialist. He says his own decades of experience with trauma and planning still left him unprepared for Roman’s death.
